


a temporary break from the world

by SaraJaye



Series: Shadowed Prisms: The Cindered Shadows AUs [5]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brief mentions of predatory assholes, CSAU1, Developing Relationship, Discussion of war, F/F, Friendship, Gift Giving, Pre-Femslash, Rejection, Unrequited Love, window shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28387509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: When Dorothea's attempts to properly court Ingrid fail, Petra steps in to take her mind off of her disappointment.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/Petra Macneary, Onesided Dorothea Aranult/Ingrid Brandl Galatea
Series: Shadowed Prisms: The Cindered Shadows AUs [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835785
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20
Collections: Hurt/Comfort Bingo - Round 11





	a temporary break from the world

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during the timeskip, other instructors are taking over for Byleth during activities like choir and tasks. This is part of Cindered Shadows AU flavor 1.

_Ingrid, I'd like to talk to you. Don't worry, I'm not going to ask permission to pounce. Meet me in the old Blue Lions classroom._ She slid the note under Ingrid's door and walked away, hoping she wasn't making a mistake.

Ingrid had made her boundaries very clear the last time they'd talked, and they hadn't really spoken since then. The professor had assigned them tasks together, which Ingrid didn't argue with, but the more time passed, the more Dorothea felt bad for making Ingrid feel uncomfortable.

The truth was, despite her teasing, she did feel genuine affection for the girl. Ingrid was strong, pretty, principled, a hard worker, well on her way to becoming the knight in shining armor she so longed to be. Who _couldn't_ love a girl like that? Dorothea longed for another chance to express her feelings, a small part of her hoping that if she were more tactful Ingrid might say yes.

_After all, who likes being pounced on like a tiger towards a piece of meat? I hated the way men used to try that with me, no one deserves such shabby treatment! Especially Ingrid, who already had **one** creep trying to make her his toy._

If nothing else, she'd have a chance to apologize for her overly forward behavior.

As it happened, she didn't even have to go wait in the classroom. Ingrid stopped her just outside the cathedral after choir practice with Manuela, the paper held gently in her hand.

"I owe you an apology," she said. "I was too hard on you that day, I shouldn't have snapped, I was-"

"Ingrid, _no._ " Dorothea just barely resisted the urge to pat her shoulder. "I'm the one who overstepped my bounds, I know how you hate when people come on too strong. I'm so used to teasing and flirting, the worst I've gotten was someone running away embarrassed or Hubie's death glares." She heard Ingrid stifle a chuckle.

"You actually flirted with _him?_ I didn't think anyone could do that and live."

"Oh, Hubie's not _nearly_ as scary as he looks," Dorothea said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "The point is you don't have to be sorry for anything." Ingrid's tiny smile faded, the worried look returning to her face.

"If you say so. Because I _do_ appreciate you helping me out that time, and you've never been anything but nice to me," she said. "So I felt bad for putting it that way, because I don't mind you being around me. I mean...we're friends, right?" Dorothea bit the inside of her cheek, toying with one of the buttons on her coat.

"Friends, right..." She swallowed. "Listen, Ingrid, there's something else. I know what you said, but will you hear me out at least? I promise not to say anything suggestive, I just want to-"

"Dorothea." Ingrid held up a hand, her face becoming even more apologetic and her tone firm. "I...I know what you're going to say, and I'm afraid my answer's still no," she said. "It's not you, I promise, I'm just...not attracted to women in that way."

_Oh._

Well, that was that, then.

"I understand," she said, twisting the button even more, willing her other hand not to clench itself into her skirt. "Then just being your friend is good enough for me!" She forced a smile, hoping Ingrid wouldn't see through it. If she did, she was at least kind enough not to say anything.

"Friends, then." Ingrid offered a little smile of her own. "Thanks for understanding."

"I would never force you to do anything you didn't want to. I'm just glad we're okay now." Dorothea slowly let go of the button, watching it hang slightly away from the fabric. She'd have to fix it later. "I'll see you around, then."

"Hey, Dorothea." Ingrid smiled a little more. "Someday you'll make some lucky woman very happy. I know you will." Dorothea shut her eyes against the threat of tears.

"Thanks."

Ingrid turned and left, and Dorothea leaned against the brick of the cathedral, tilting her head up towards the heavens and hoping it would start to rain soon.

Contrary to the expression, a broken heart didn't actually _feel_ like breaking. More like a slow sinking into the pit of her stomach, a sour queasiness spreading through her. Maybe it hurt less when the person rejecting you was gentle about it, or when you knew it was a long shot anyway.

It _did_ hurt, though. Not enough to make Dorothea want to lock herself in her room, throw herself across her bed and sob like the world was ending, but enough that she hadn't left the cathedral for over an hour. She listened to the comings and goings of others, seated in the middle pew, hands folded in her lap and eyes closed.

Ingrid was special. When that bastard had made a play for her, all Dorothea wanted to do was protect her until she watched Ingrid take to the field on her pegasus and _wreck him._ In fact, she'd been the one to protect Dorothea, lance plunging into the bastard's back before he could aim his weapon at her throat.

That was the moment Dorothea fell for her like a sack of bricks. She felt _safe_ with Ingrid around to destroy anything that could hurt her friends. Ashe often said the sour Felix was like a knight from a storybook, but Ingrid was the _true_ picture of chivalry Faerghus so worshipped. Who needed to land a noble rich husband when she could be swept off her feet by a beautiful knight? Someone sincere, not a shallow puffed-up hypocrite like all those other nobles she couldn't stand?

But it was that very sincerity that meant they could never be together.

"Dorothea?" Her head snapped up at the sound of footsteps and a familiar accent. "Edelgard and others have curiosity of your whereabouts. The hour of lunch is growing near, are you not hungry?"

"Oh, Petra...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone. I've just been...thinking." She began to twist the button again, closing her eyes. "I'm not that hungry, anyway." Petra's brow furrowed in concern.

"Are you feeling ill? Should I be fetching Miss Manuela or Mercedes?" Dorothea shook her head, the dull pit of disappointment in her stomach would probably pass within a day or so...provided she didn't bump into Ingrid. This was one of the drawbacks of all three classes coming together under the Professor's guidance, the monastery felt more crowded even with Lady Rhea and many of her followers gone and there was too good a chance of seeing someone you were trying to avoid.

Especially during the meetings Edie and Claude insisted on having every week. Today, Dorothea realized, was one of those meeting days, and a wave of self-reproach washed over her. _What are you even **doing,** Dorothea?_

"I'll be fine," she said, standing up and smoothing her skirt and coat. "It's just...been hard lately, with the professor gone and having to worry about who's going to come after us next, you know?" Petra shook her head.

"You are not being truthful. Your worries are more than just that, I can tell," she said. Dorothea shook her head in disgust, _and here I thought the professor was the only one who could see right through me._

"It's stupid. It's just...it's nothing compared-" She threw her hands up. "The professor's gone, Edie's beside herself, Prince Dimitri's a mess, Lady Rhea's missing and we're being attacked from all three sides. It's _stupid_ to be moping over a bruised heart when so much worse is going on," she snapped; Petra looked taken aback and Dorothea immediately regretted her tone. "I'm sorry, Petra, I didn't-"

"Dorothea." Petra's hand reached for hers, squeezing it gently. "It is Miss Ingrid, is it not?" _Bulls-eye._ Dorothea's shoulders slumped, and she buried her face in her free hand.

"I really liked her," she said quietly. "I guess I just hoped that if I was honest and less... _aggressive,_ maybe...maybe she'd be _the one._ Even though I knew it was a long shot I _hoped,_ isn't that silly? If you're prepared for rejection-"

"It still brings you pain," Petra said. "It is not mattering how impossible a dream is, if a dream is crushed, you will feel hurt." Even if she was right, Dorothea felt like a fool for being this upset at a time like this.

"I'll get over it."

"You will not be getting over it like this," Petra said. "Come with me. You are needing a distraction away from the monastery." She tugged gently on Dorothea's hand; while most of the villages and towns nearby were a mess thanks to the war, there were a few areas Yuri had scoped out and declared "safe" for the time being.

So Dorothea followed her friend, a bit of curiosity already taking root and disrupting her heartache.

"We'll miss the meeting," she said. Petra shook her head.

"Meetings are mainly for leaders and their seconds, optional for us," she said. "Edelgard will not have objections to our absence." They walked through the gates of Garreg Mach's entrance, into the chilly air and through a forest path. _Yurikins must have made her a map,_ Dorothea thought, _and Petra has a wonderful sense of direction._ The other woman simply moved ahead, without an ounce of hesitancy or fear, and within moments they stepped out of the trees and into a small, bustling town.

Aside from the group of mages and soldiers standing guard, this place looked absolutely untouched by the horrors of war. People walked to and from shops and restaurants without fear, smiling, chatting, taking their time. Shopkeepers smiled, children played, cats and dogs scampered about.

Just the sight was enough to lift her heart.

"Beautiful, is it not?" Petra smiled. "Come, let us eat. I know you said you did not feel hungry, but I have certainty that you are now," she said. Dorothea nodded, walking through the forest _had_ helped her work up an appetite.

"Yurikins mentioned a little cafe when he told us about this town at the last meeting," she said. "I'd like to try them."

"Then I would, too," Petra said. "Have whatever you want, and I will pay." Dorothea reached into her purse, hoping to be able to make an objection, but her coin sack felt lighter than she remembered. She blushed a little.

"Are you sure about that?"

"I have-" Petra paused. "I am certain," she said slowly. "My grasp of this language is still needing work. I hope I am not embarrassing Dorothea when I order..." Was she blushing? For the moment, a certain knight and the war slipped her mind; Petra was usually much more confident in herself and her determination to learn Fodlan's customs.

"Don't worry so much," she said. "It doesn't bother me, and I'm sure the cafe owner won't care, either."

"Ah...you have my thanks."

They sat down at a small table in the corner, where the hostess took their order after bringing them a basket of rolls and a pot of Hresvelg Blend tea. The little cafe was as charming as Yuri had said it was, warm and welcoming, enough to take Dorothea's mind off of her troubles as she fell into easy small talk with Petra.

"They are having cabbage and herring stew as a special," Petra chuckled. "I am remembering when that was served for dinner, the look on Caspar's face was without price!"

"He looked like he'd swallowed a hunk of dirt," Dorothea giggled. "Lysithea, too, you know how she is about vegetables. And Ingrid-"

She cut herself off too late, setting down her teacup and sighing. Back then she hadn't known Ingrid associated limp cabbage with food shortages in her territory, watching her father eat pathetic meals of cabbage soup while he saved everything good for her and her siblings. Instead she'd teased about how they both hated the food, so they _must_ be destined for each other.

_If I'd been more sympathetic back then, would she...no, she's not interested in women, that wouldn't change. But still..._

"Dorothea," Petra said gently, "do you wish to talk about it? About her?"

"N-no, I couldn't do that to you, you're going out of your way to show me a good time to distract me, you're paying for our food..."

"I do not mind."

Dorothea's shoulders slumped as she folded her arms in front of her, not caring if anyone saw her elbows dangerously close to the table and yelled about it.

"I really liked her, Petra," she sighed. "I know I flirt with everyone and at first I just thought she was cute when she was caught off guard, but that was before I realized what an amazing person she is. I keep wondering, maybe if I'd toned it down a little, if I hadn't come on so strong, maybe..."

"You cannot force someone to love you," Petra said. "Ingrid is a lovely person, you cannot be blamed for having such feelings. Yet hers are not the same as yours."

"I know," Dorothea murmured, stirring her tea. "She's not interested in women that way, it wouldn't matter how subtle or polite I was. I know that, I _shouldn't_ be so upset."

"But you are, and there is no shame in feeling." Petra squeezed her hand. "I cannot offer any advice on such things, Dorothea, I have no expertise," she said. "But I do have ears for a friend in need. And Dorothea is...very special friend to me."

"Petra..."

At that moment, their meals were set down before them. Petra blushed, Dorothea's stomach growled, and they both laughed before they dug into their plates of stir-fried vegetables, not giving a single thought to their manners.

_I do have ears for a friend in need._ Talking about it would help, Petra would listen, and they were among strangers who didn't care to listen in on their conversations. But somehow it never came up again. Even when she'd see something in a shop that reminded her of Ingrid, or hear a person say something Ingrid would say, she'd look towards Petra and open her mouth to talk only for Petra's smile to catch her off guard.

"Dorothea? What is it?"

"Oh...it's nothing. Hey, look at that necklace over there, isn't that a pretty pattern?"

"Ah, yes! That is like what my mother wore at home," Petra said, rushing over to examine it. "The color is different, but the patterns and style are the exact same." While Petra was admiring the necklace, Dorothea snuck a glance at the price tag. _I think I have just enough..._

As they prepared to leave, Dorothea "accidentally" dropped her scarf.

"Oh, Petra, hold on, I forgot something," she said. "Can you wait a moment?"

"Of course." Petra waited outside, and Dorothea went back inside. Checking the price tag again, she smiled and brought the necklace to the counter.

They spent the rest of the day exploring the little town, sipping hot drinks on a bench and admiring the scenery, laughing at some of the tacky and opulent luxury goods while Dorothea secretly thought that if _she_ were a rich noble lady she wouldn't mind owning that diamond chandelier.

"Ingrid would hate this store," she said. "She never did like such showy displays of opulence. I suppose when you grow up without much you have sort of a knee-jerk reaction to these things."

"In Brigid, pride is in your skills, not in your possessions. Any possession to be proud of is one earned," Petra said. "Large hunting quarries are not won by riches, but by ease in shooting. Delicious fish are won via patience, not purchasing from markets."

"Brigid sounds like a lovely place," Dorothea sighed. "To be judged on your merits, not on your bloodlines or fancy things handed to you on a silver platter. Thinking of it that way, I really understand the kind of world Edie's willing to go to war for."

"And if Fodlan can accept such things, Claude's ambitions to open Fodlan's Locket," Petra added. "And Prince Dimitri's dream to end prejudice, and Yuri's desire to lift the Abyss out of poverty."

"The four of them really aren't so different deep down. They just want a better world for everyone, no matter who they are," Dorothea said. "Petra, do you think they can achieve it? With or without the professor? Right now it feels like there's so much stacked against them."

Petra smiled as they left the shop, plucking a fallen flower blossom from the ground.

"I am reminded of old saying, _the flower that blooms in adversity is rare and most beautiful of all,_ " she said. "The flower is that dream. The dream will bloom, and the world after will be beautiful."

Dorothea had heard that saying many times herself. Either from Manuela, who had come from a similarly common background, or from men who wanted to court her and be the ones to make her feel special, usually for the sake of stroking their egos. _See how good I am? I made a poor commoner feel like a precious treasure._

Maybe it was because Petra spoke of a concept, a dream, rather than a person. But at that moment the words felt more geniune than Dorothea ever believed they could be.

"I believe it," she said.

"Here." Petra carefully tucked the flower's stem into the pocket of Dorothea's coat, letting the blossom sit comfortably outside it. "This will be a reminder." Dorothea, to her own surprise, felt herself blush. Before she could say anything, though, the town's clock chimed.

"Oh! Should we start back? It's close to dinner time," she said. "Unless...well, it's been so nice here, and..." _And I'm not ready to go back to the monastery._ She would heal, she and Ingrid could be good friends, but for now the hurt was still fresh and she didn't want to make things awkward. Ingrid would apologize, and she couldn't take Ingrid apologizing for something that wasn't her fault.

"Yuri had made mention of another restaurant," Petra said. "One that specializes in Brigid cuisine. Allow me to buy us a meal." Dorothea was about to protest, but then remembered the necklace she'd spent most of her pocket money on.

_I'll give it to her when we get back._

"I'd like that."

It was getting dark when they finished eating, people going into their homes or back to whatever war-torn village or refuge they'd come from to escape reality for just a little while. They couldn't stay here forever, Dorothea was sure Edelgard and the others were worried about them. Probably not to the point of sending a search party, but they'd gone off without even leaving anyone a note.

"We must be getting back," Petra sighed. "I...will be sorry to see this day end."

"Me too," Dorothea said. "Petra...thank you. I mean, I know you took me out so I could forget about Ingrid, and you said I could talk about my feelings. But...I dunno, it still hurts, but I forgot to be sad so many times while we were here. And a lot of it is because of you." Petra's cheeks reddened.

"Because of...me?"

"I'm really lucky to have a friend like you," Dorothea said. "You didn't try to force me to open up, but you didn't make me feel bad for being upset, either."

"I could never do such things," Petra murmured. "Dorothea is my very important friend, and I want her heart to mend. I want to see her smile, because her smile is a treasure and means she is happy. And you deserve happiness, Dorothea."

For the second time that day, Dorothea felt tears prick at her eyes. Digging into her pack, she pulled out the silk pouch and gently pressed it into Petra's hand.

"Here." Petra blinked, gingerly withdrew the necklace, and her eyes widened.

"Dorothea, you..."

"I know you've become happier and more comfortable in Fodlan, but I know you miss Brigid sometimes," Dorothea said. "And...you've done a lot for me today. I wanted to thank you." Petra slowly put the necklace on, running her fingertips gently over the intricate beaded pattern.

"I shall always cherish this," she whispered. "Thank you, Dorothea."

The clock rang out, the sun began to set, and Dorothea slid her hand into Petra's.

"Let's go."

"But...are you not worried?"

"I am," she sighed. "But I'll be okay as long as you're here."

They walked through the forest path, hand in hand, in a comfortable silence. For the first time since the war broke out, Dorothea felt something in her begin to lift.


End file.
